Parenting with Love and Logic

Brian and I started taking Love and Logic Parenting classes about 6 weeks ago. It was five weeks long with 4 sessions and can I tell you how much I learned from these courses and how much I LOVE the Love and Logic Philosophy? I am always trying to better myself as a mother. I used to be the type you would hear giving their child many warnings and yelling at them and telling them what to do almost constantly. This is NOT how I want to parent or how I want my children to remember their childhood. So when I heard about these classes I was stoked! I had checked out the book from the library about a year ago and never even cracked it open. Man am I sorry we didn’t start this sooner!!


The philosophy behind Love and Logic is

*Love allows children to children to grow through their mistakes. Logic happens when we allow them to live with the consequences of their choices.  quote from Love and Logice Magic for Early Childhood.

The Four Principles Behind Love and Logic

1. Build Self Concept

Help children learn to think and solve problems or issues on their own so that they know they can.

2. Share the Control

Give them choices on the “little” stuff. The stuff that you don’t really care what they pick, like for example, “do you want to wear the purple shirt of the pink shirt” “do you want the princess cup or the spider man cup?” “do you want to go to bed now or in 5 minutes?” This gives them the sense that they also have control. It also helps for when you need them to do something and are not willing to negotiate. When we put Lauren to bed at night we always give her the “now or 5 minutes” line and then when 5 minutes are up she usually heads straight to her room without much fuss. {not always but it is a work in progress}

3. Provide Empathy, Then Consequences

Empathy allows children to learn from their mistakes instead of learning to fear adults. Every mistake is a chance to learn what to do different next time and or avoid the mistake entirely in the future.

This is where my yelling comes in. I am horrible about raising my voice when I discipline Lauren. This is teaching me new ways to say things so that I don’t degrade her and make her feel stupid, which goes back to principle #1 and building self concept. Every time I replace my anger with empathy and caring I help Lauren become better prepared to make wise decisions later on by herself.

4. Share in the Thinking

Have them think more about the solution than you

Last night we went on a walk and Lauren went to put her shoes on all by herself and she comes out in these white, heeled strappy sandals that are one size too big. A friend of mine had given us a bunch of her daughter’s clothes and shoes and she will grow into them so I stuck them in with all of her shoes. Well like any little girl she loves the heels and when she came out in them I just smiled and headed out for the walk. We didn’t even make it off our road and she started complaining about her shoes.

Lauren: “Mama I can’t run in these”

Me: “I know sweetie. Do you think those were a good choice?”

Lauren: “No”

Me: “What do you think you should do next time?”

Lauren: “Wear my tennis shoes or my flip flops.”

Me: “That’s right! I think that is a great idea”

And we finished out walk.


Now mind you we have only been using these techniques for about 6 weeks and I am by no means good at them yet. And really it hasn't been that easy! I start out great at the beginning of a situation and the longer it takes the more apt I am to revert back to my yelling. A habit that I am working on breaking and it is getting better every day. By using these techniques I hope to have a happier household with happy parents and happy children. I also want Lauren and Colton to grow up and be responsible adults and be ready for the real world when it comes time for them to leave the nest!!  I am committed to using these techniques and better myself with them.  I am sure that I will have lots more Love and Logic stories to share!